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The Friday 5 – Dressing Up

Would you go out tonight if you only had a stitch to wear? Well, the world of music wants to help. There’s no shortage of sartorial options available. From the outlandish to the plain, we’re bound to found something which suits you, sir. Let’s have a look:

Elvis Costello – Green Shirt

Usual stunning lyrical assault from late 70s Elvis. Possibly the only song to include the word ’quisling’.  Definitely the only song to follow up the word ‘quisling’ with the word ‘clinic’. Still delightfully caustic all these years later.

Madness – Baggy Trousers

There’s no shortage of options available to cover up your legs. You could forever be in blue jeans, if it wasn’t for the fact that Neil Diamond would probably charge you for wearing them. So you might have to stick to the same jeans, like dirty Dundonian poppers The View, who really do look like they need a wash. But we’re going for Madness’ ode to how great being a kid is. Written in response to Pink Floyd’s dreary ‘Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 768’, it evokes that sense of utter joy you have in childhood. The antidote to ‘my parents f*cked me up’ boreathons.

Hindu Love Gods – Raspberry Beret

If you want to get ahead – get a hat! That’s what they used to say in the old days, which is just another reason why the old days were shit. You had to wear a hat because there was so much pollution that the smog would leave a dirty mark on your bonce if you didn’t. No, hat wearing should be because you have a hat worth seeing, like Prince’s bight exotic millinery. We’ve gone for this version because it is Warren Zevon backed by REM, and frankly, that’s reason enough.

Pulp – Pink Glove

It’s cold, and it’ll get colder still. So why not wrap up with a pair of sturdy handwarmers. Though one gets the impression that these bad boys are to be used for purposes other than digit heat. Jarvis, you sex-crazed old perv, you.

Depeche Mode – Walking in My Shoes

Being a leonine sex God type back in the day, you’d assume Dave Gahan’s shoes would be well worth pinching. If Dave’s shoes don’t do it, there are pairs with diamonds on the soles courtesy of Paul Simon, blue suede shoes and, of course, boots made for walking. Frankly, pop stars are obsessed with shoes.

My God but you look good! Get out there and we’ll see you back here next week!

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