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Tied to the 90s – People who wish it was 1997

Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? As the Chilcot report into the war in Iraq draws ever closer to publication, it seems that the fingers of blame are pointing towards our former Prime Minister Tony Blair. This shocking turn of events will further diminish Blair’s standing, which, to be fair, was pretty low anyway. Was not ever thus, however; in the heady days of May 1997, Blair was the hugely successful and massively popular architect of the stunning New Labour election landslide. He was, younger readers, cool. But barely a decade and a half later, he’s yesterday’s man, who raises either anger or apathy.

Them’s the breaks, of course. It’s not just Anthony of Sedgefield who looks back wistfully on that golden summer of 1997. Here are a few others who wish they could, in the words of Cher, turn back time:

Noel Gallagher – Bestrode the world like a cocaine-fuelled colossus. After two era-defining albums, had the vast majority of the country salivating about his next move. That next move, sadly, was Be Here Now. Still sold by the truckload – and, to be fair, has never lost the ability to shift product – but the magical aura of the early days was gone forever. That said, seems to have found a happy personal life now, possibly because Liam isn’t in it.

Geri Halliwell – Union Jack dress/massive arse combo wowed nation, who took the ambitious redhead to its collective heart. Or something. There was trouble afoot within Planet Spice, and soon Geri – the leading icon of the group at the time – was binned. She launched a dismal solo career which provided ever diminishing returns. She lost and found herself, as you do, but has yet to do anything musically worth mentioning.

Thom Yorke – Pug-faced pixie of popular prog-rockers Radiohead was reaching his zenith with the launch of Ok Computer as Blair was trying the furniture at #10. Critically untouchable for at least a decade, a few dissenting voices have been asking why hearing him moan incoherently over what sounds like an angry fridge breaking down is automatically worth five stars.

Roni Size – Roni Size won the Mercury Music Prize. No, he did. I’m telling you. The Mercury. Honestly. Go to their website. Roni Size.

Richard Ashcroft – The Verve, in 1997, were the very epitome of dark, edgy cool. ‘Bittersweet Symphony’ was everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. Shops, cars, TV, your head, radio, TFI Friday…you couldn’t escape it. Like the poor and Andy Kershaw, it will always be with us, but Ashcroft….not so much. Made some average-to-poor solo records. Reformed the band to less fanfare than he imagined. Not really doing much these days.

Gina G – A fucking disgrace. Should have been bigger than Madonna. Not really.

So there you have it. And a sobering note to Caleb Followhill – after you’ve hit the top, there’s nowhere to go but down. But there is a long way down to go. Enjoy the ride while it lasts.


One Response

  1. And what about Proud Mary? They were…….eh, a bit crap actually……

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