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Introducing the Monday Meh!

MilliganThere is a dark corridor in ELM Towers, a dirty passage if you will. Down it many a fearful newbie has tread, heading further towards the windowless room at the bottom where air is gasped gratefully and dank overwhelms the senses. This room is known as the lab. It is in this very room that wondrous new morsels are created by our team of lost souls.

Okay, okay – that’s a rather longwinded, Edgar Allen Poeish way of saying we’ve got a new feature. But if we didn’t make a fuss you’re hardly likely to, are you?

Welcome, then, to the Monday Meh! The Meh!, as it shall henceforth be known, will be a receptacle for all the flotsam and jetsam atop the sea of critical acclaim, namely those who fundamentally do not deserve it. You will not see The Saturdays here; they are disposable pop and everyone knows it. No, this is for those who, despite stellar track records in the field of ‘Not Being Much Cop’, regularly garner four-star reviews and have drooling acolytes telling us how utterly stupendous they are.

Now, we will take suggestions from our discerning readership on this. Be warned; there will be bands in here that you like. Hell, there will be bands in here that I like, and I’m, like, totally the King round here and that. That’s the way the world goes. They don’t have to be commercially successful, either; they just have to be highly-rated. Equally, if they sell lots of records but are universally recognised as complete and utter dreck – I’m looking at you, Razorlight – then they don’t qualify.

If I may give you an example from outwith the music world; Spike Milligan. To say you didn’t find the old loon funny was regarded as a heresy up there with trying to anally mount a Royal. But he wasn’t funny. Ever. ‘Anyone can be 52, but it takes a bus to be 52B!’ That was the sort of thing he came away with. You can put it down to anything being funny post-war, and that’s understandable, but why the grizzled dick was still on the screens five decades later is beyond me.

Now, Peter Sellars. He was funny. But yeah, that sort of thing. Except musical.

So the rules, like those people who buy Katie Price books, are quite simple. Get involved, let us know who you want in the mix. Be prepared for arguments, accepting of course that the final word rests with me because I’m always right.

Enjoy the Meh!


8 Responses

  1. Amadou & Mariam – I know, I know, but they’re blind! Still shite though.

  2. Didn’t stop people punting Stevie Wonder in the metaphorical goolies for ‘The Secret Life of Plants’ though, so they should be fair game!

    Also see Seasick Steve – he’s a hobo! Yes, and so he should be.

  3. Read Milligan’s war memoirs: if you don’t laugh you’re an empty vessel.


  4. Bruce ,Broooos , the boss ; surely he is the outstanding reprobate for this category.

  5. ” Nebraska ” not withstanding.

  6. TRSD, you are wrong.

    Like a turd floating in a wash hand basin, a penguin on a sunbed, or Madonna playing guitar.

    Just plain, unadorned, good old fashioned wrong.

  7. What ? you mean not ” Nebraska ” notwithstanding ?

  8. ‘Nebraska’ isn’t one of my favourites to be honest. I preder Brooce when he’s punching the air.

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