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News Nuggets – Weekly Round-Up

flaming-lipsWhile I always feel I’m more Tom Tucker than Trevor McDonald when I slip on my newsreader uniform, ELM never shies away from its responsibility to bring you – yes YOU, the discerning ELM readership – your weekly bite-size chunks of news. Real news that counts, too. Not all this mumbo-jumbo about the economy, or the fact that the last time we hit a situation like this it took a ten year depression followed by a war which killed 10m to clear the decks. No, that pales when you hear that Pete Doherty played a secret gig at a pub in Camden, or there were reports that Brandon Flowers went into a toilet at a show and emerged ten minutes later followed by what witnesses described as ‘a funny smell’. Things that matter.

So what’s going down in the wide, wide world of music?

Well, first up, The Specials re-union tour kicked off this week in Newcastle and initial reports were very positive indeed. ELM also suggests this tour may well see the largest gatherings of Saturday Dads this nation has ever seen.

In the corner marked ‘brilliantly surreal’, the Governor of Oklahoma passed an executive order overriding the Oklahoma House of Representatives on their decision to not officially make the Flaming Lips ‘Do You Realize’ the state song. Seriously. Apparently, they had a public vote and the Lips beat such well known songs as ‘Oklahoma’ and, well, that’s about it really, but still. Governor Henry stepped up, took the tough decision and I’m sure Oklahomians will sleep sounder at night. I’d have gone for ‘Yoshimi’ myself, but fair play to the good people of Oklahoma, proving there is more to their state than…..well, the song ‘Oklahoma’ and that bit in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

Irritating comedy ‘punk’ fuckwits Gallows sadly proved they are still with us in an interview with NME.com where they announced their new album features a recording of a pig dying. I’m actually grudging typing the words about these dullards, but what I will say is this; guys, you are about as shocking as a Bratz doll and about 70% less useful. Give up and sign on.

Elton John has concluded his five-year Vegas residency, to much wailing among Nevada residents, I’m sure. I know, I know….if he’s been in Vegas for five years, how come we haven’t seem to have been shot of him? I’m sure he’ll return soon to the UK to resume his role as Britain’s favourite charitable homosexual. Paul O’Grady was last night being comforted by friends.

Johnny Borrell remains a gimp in need of a Zed….

Well, that’s all the ridiculous stuff we found. You really think we’re interested in actual news? There are thousands of places you can get that!

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8 Responses

  1. Can believe you haven’t mentioned Susan Boyle who (so I am reliably told by a friend who reads such things) has had her eyebrows lucked and her hair cut into a bob this week. if that’s not real news I don’t know what is!

  2. Cant believe you haven’t mentioned Susan Boyle who (so I am reliably told by a friend who reads such things) has had her eyebrows plucked and her hair cut into a bob this week. if that’s not real news I don’t know what is!

  3. I saw Gallows a couple of years ago at The Great Escape festival in Brighton which I went to with the foolish thought of giving away GFA cd’s and “networking”. It was full of wankers with converse and too tight for their fat arse jeans on (see Craig McGhee that used to book the bands at King Tuts look for evidence).
    Anyway, Gallows were fucking laughable. Imagine Bad Manners singer (Buster Bloodvessel) fronting a Black Flag tribute band and you’ll get the idea.
    Ghastly.

  4. Adrian – who? Genuinely, I’m not sure who you are talking about!!

  5. Gallows suck ass, man.

  6. You lot are being harsh on Gallo….no, actually, you aren’t.

  7. Gallows are genuine punks man. No?

    😉

  8. If, indeed, it’s all about the music with them, then they’ve taken a wrong turn.

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