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Snow Patrol Refute Claims They Are ‘The Most Boring Band in the World’….Boringly

We don’t have much time for Nicky Wire round these parts, for several reasons. The main ones being he is a total twat and the other he’s in a really pissingly average rock band who haven’t done anything of note since 1992. He also scores highly on the hate-o-meter for his tedious attempts to be controversial over the years. So, blow me, but ELM was knocked for six when we read his latest and actually agreed with the whey-faced golf bore. Just goes to prove the old adage about a stopped clock being right twice a day is correct.

Wire’s latest target are Scottish/Irish bedwetters Snow Patrol, whom he labelled ‘boring’. Which, as anyone who has ever heard them will attest, they most certainly are. Snow Patrol fall into that Coldplay thing where it’s not a case of actually disliking them; they aren’t bad per se, they are just so very blah. It’s music with it’s balls removed, eunuch rock if you will. It’s anthemic but forgettable, it’s deep but meaningless, it’s just so dull that you could put it on the One Show and it would sit comfortably. And let’s face it, the One Show is the modern by-word for dull. It’s so bland it’s terracotta.

But it appears the band are comfortable with it. Rather than a scathing attack on Nicky Wire for being a prick, singer Gary Lightbody merely asserted he doesn’t think they are boring, but a rock legend like Nicky is entitled to his opinion/ Aw, fer fuxake Gary, grow a pair and at least hit back with some panache, eh? A Morrisseyesque withering put-down, a sarcastic comment about relevance, a press conference where you simply say ‘boring?’ then play ‘If You Tolerate This’…these would all have worked. mild disagreement simply confirms that he was right in the first place.

There is another possibility, namely that deep down, they know they really are quite boring. I once heard Lightbody DJ on XFM and he was terrific. Funny, witty and with excellent taste in music, both past and current. And then you hear the dismally dreary opening chords of ‘Run’ strike up and you just shrug your shoulders and go ‘nah’. Because it’s not worth getting worked up about. Music should either inspire or irritate. Anything else is pan pies. And sadly, that’s all Snow Patrol are; indie for elevators. And even an arse like Nicky Wire can see it.


5 Responses

  1. see i have wee soft spot for them…and i got tickets to see them on tour this year…but then i forgot about it…and the tour passed with my tickets still sitting on the safe step..and tbh i realised i wasnt bothered. So maybe that means they are boring.

  2. See, it sort of proves the point. They are so boring you forgot you were going to see them!

  3. If music is a colour , snow patrol are beige.

  4. No, they’re brown…….like shite.

  5. They are the terracotta army of music.

    They met in Dundee, didn’t they? Reminds me of Jerry Sadowitz’s line about people from Dundee being so boring that if you covered them in hot water they’d be a new flavour of pot noodle.

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