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The ELM ‘Claim to Lame’ Game

Icons. Bloody Icons. That’s what these so-called pop stars are to us. We mere mortals, scrabbling about on our uppers looking for a break, are turned into sheer shivering wrecks in the presence of greatness (and, in this modern world, there is nothing which proves greatness more than celebrity.) Just to touch the hem of their garments would fill us with a deep and unmistakable joy which nothing – not drugs, religion or family – could match. And being around them, gaining fleeting access to their gifts…well, it’s mind-blowing.

Maybe you were standing in a lift when Paul McCartney got in and was blabbing about how they were getting back together to record ‘Free As A Bird’. You could well be the bloke who shouted ‘Judas!’ at Bob Dylan in Manchester. Perhaps you saw New Order just after Ian Curtis passed away and suggested they go electro.

But we don’t want to know about that.

No, here at ELM, we are looking for the worst example of Rock Star non- interaction out there. Maybe you know someone who once stood behind the bloke from Menswear in the queue at the Little Chef. Maybe your Dad’s mate’s best pal’s daughters ex-boyfriend once went out with someone who did the make-up for Mis-Teeq. Perhaps you got a horse-racing tip from a roadie who once nearly worked for the Pigeon Detectives but had a big dominoes game the second night of the tour.

Basically, we want the crap, the utterly pointless, pathetic brushes with non-fame that you nearly had. The more esoteric the better, the more removed the more it turns us on. Anyone can meet famous people. What’s the bloody point? They are all boring bastrads anyway. The prize for this is a signed copy of a 12-inch red vinyl copy of ‘Swords of a Thousand Men’ by Tenpole Tudor, which may not be given out as it sort of very much doesn’t actually exist.

I’ll kick us off; an ex-colleague used to work with someone who was once engaged to a man who made a pair of trainers for Kanye West before he was famous. FACT.

Okay, now it’s your turn; keep that crap comin’…..


14 Responses

  1. I am accidentally in a pop video.

  2. My daughter goes to playgroup with the three-year-old son of the sister of the bassist in Shed Seven.

  3. I jammed with the drummer who played on the Scotland world cup classic ” we`re on the march wae allies army “.

    very good he was too.

  4. I’m facebook friends with someone who went out with a member of herman’s hermits.

  5. And when I was a teenager I worked on an icecream van that stopped outside marti pellow’s gran’s house.

  6. i once had a guitar lesson from a guy who had once played session guitar for bon jovi.

  7. Some belters here, but Fourstar is in the lead!

  8. Coo, how exciting!

  9. The bass player from Ocean Colour Scene said: “Nice bass sounds mate, top man” to me after my terrible band supported them many, many years ago. They were baggy then.

    The Chemical Brothers were in same London beer garden as me many years ago.

    When very young I got some bass lessons from a guy who had worked with Jim Diamond.

  10. I once hitched a lift from the Stone Roses road manager…….

  11. A friend of mine once watched an Old Firm game in Toronto at 6am Canadian time in a club with the bass player from Glass Tiger.

  12. Siroinksalot, that one’s actually quite good!

  13. Mavis riley from coronation street used to be one of my mums customers.
    One of my mum and dad’s friends from years ago is, in turn, friends with David Tennants parents.

    And best of all, I was in a lift once with Anthony Costa from Blue.

  14. Adrian, while the Mavis story is impressive, its not eligible sadly. The Anthony Costa one is though!

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