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Dead Can’t Dance, But They Can Ship Units

An advert just came on Channel 4 for a new album by Eva Cassidy. Yep, good old dead Eva Cassidy has a new album out. That’s what the voiceover said. ‘New’. And it was by Mark Goodier, who you’d trust about that sort of thing. He did the Evening Session, you know.

So the gullible lash out cash for what, the ad promises, is a set of acoustic treasures which have just been discovered. Or demos, as you and I would call them. Fair play to the Cassidy Estate, it will keep the cash coming in. She is beginning to rival Tupac in terms of posthumous albums.

But people like music by dead people. Jeff Buckley sells more albums now than he ever did when he was still with us. Interest in Elliot Smith spiked after his messy, unnecessary death. Kurt Cobain’s legend has grown and grown, as has Ian Curtis’. Why? Are we so macabré?

I’m not sure it is entirely down to that. i think it would be more accurate to peg it that there remains something enigmatic about artists once they are no longer with us. You can project anything on to them and they will never let you down. If you love a current artist, there is always the issue of a crappy new album, an atrocious gig, a Heather Mills. They will always find a way to balls it up for you.

Dead people can’t do that. They are there, fixed in time, young and tragic and beautiful. Eva Cassidy adds that sense of tragic loss, which must explain some of her popularity as she is, at best, a decent coffee shop singer, not a million-selling recording artist (check me, I’m Simon Cowell.)

So, fair play. This album will be marketed with Panzer division organisation, targeted at exactly the people who will fall over themselves to pay their tenner then witter on about she got cancer before she made it, isn’t that a tragedy? Everyone is happy.

Fuck sex, aspiring musicians, death sells.


10 Responses

  1. Perhaps then I should let Cliff Richard out of my basement, don’t want him releasing lots of new albums and topping the charts again.

    damn, I was soooo looking forward to eating him! 😉


  2. You’d only be helping him!

  3. perhaps I could just whip out his larynx….maybe take a leg or something, then he could date Heather Mills and have wooden leg sword fights.


  4. Sounds to me like a sure-fire pay-per-view winner…..

  5. celebutard peg leg death match so to speak?

  6. “Celebrity Specials Special”

  7. If Cliff Richards will grow stronger in death, does that not make him the Obi Wan Kenobi of the music world? Cripes…

  8. Ah, Jedi mind tricks – thats what makes all those grannies lose more bladder control at the sight of him. Makes a lot more sense now.

  9. He’s certainly from the dark side.

  10. as Debbie Harry sang (and then didn’t do) – “die young, stay pretty!”

    that’s it there.

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