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We need new targets

And not Simply red-loving fuckwits either. no, I was flicking through Uncut yesterday, when a depressingly obvious slight came to mind. The talented Martha Wainwright – not as good as her dad, but who is? – was asked in a questionnaire-style section who her least favourite person was. ‘George Bush’, she said. Peter Buck was asked similar – ‘George Bush’, he said.

Now, we at ELM towers are Liberals, and no fans of the warmongering President. But it’s just so obvious. You idolise these artists. And while you don’t expect Have I Got News For You witticisms, they have got to do better than simply naming the modern boogeyman.

Go for Cheney, Rumsfeld, hell, even Rice or Blair – but come on, Bush? 5 years after the fact and six months till he gets his jotters. It’s just too average to mention Bush. You can do better.

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11 Responses

  1. Hate Lists :
    Ok for starters…….
    1. Tina Turner. For that stupid dancing and those big granny legs teetering about. Ike should have hit her harder.
    2. Elton John. Punk enemy numero uno for me. Now being “rehabilitated” by tossers like Ryan Adams. Still shite, no matter what people say about his “early stuff being good”. No it wasn’t.
    3. Guy Ritchie. Inflicted the abberation that is the “brit-flick” on us. And married Madonna who now has a Home Counties accent. Enough!!
    4. Richard Hammond. Top Gear twat. All knowing cheeky grin. Not in hospital long enough.
    5. Wim Wenders. One good film. lots of shite ones. German. I rest my case.
    6. Princess Diana/ Dodi Fayed. Yip. Still dead.
    7. George Galloway. Knob.
    8. Barry Ferguson. Torn face. Arch Hun.
    9. Tim Henman. Also known as flaccid penis, ie never reaches a semi.
    10. Paul Weller. King of dadrock. Thinks he looks smart but actually looks like a pantomime character. Hangs about with Noel. Arrogant and self-righteous. The Jam were good, though.

  2. how can anyone not love the hamster?

    I hate Russell Brand, he is a cock. and don’t say his written stuff is funny, I don’t give a shit, I hate the man so I’m not going to waste minutes of my life reading his icky-wicky opinions on anything.

    to re-iterate, he is a cock

    and the film Made of Honour. I hate it too – two hours of my life I’ll never get back.

  3. Targets of hate?

    1. Polly Toynbee – liberal High Priestess, and a woman who has never knowingly talked any sense. Or written any sense.
    2. Gordon Brown. How can you f*** up Blair’s legacy?
    3. The NME. From self-important but relevant icon to Smash Hits. Nice.
    4. Alan McGhee. Finally sealed the fatal link between ‘making money’ and being a musician, even if you are an independent musician. After his 90s peak bands and music were only viewed through the prism of sales, units and money. TV appearances for AR Kane, Throwing Muses and Butthole Surfers never quite recovered.

  4. The hamster is a bit of a cock, sorry. Clarkson and May can make it look spontaneous, he can’t – reminds me of the overacting one saw in Carry On Films. Minus the tits and Sid James.

    Can I just say, some great comments here! Pissing myself laughing at some of the hate lists!

  5. HW – Elton John, loathe him or hate him, you can’t deny that he’s….well, a cunt really. Agree on Tina Turner also. Scares the living shit out of me, like something out of a Richard Carpenter film. I daresay that Eartha Kitt-loving loony who was on will lambast me for that too…..:-)

  6. BDC – If we ever need a new source of renewable energy, let’s harness Polly Toynbee’s sense of self-satisfaction.

  7. Toynbee has sadly created a cloud of ‘smug’ that threatens to engulf the UK. and block out the life giving sun; the cloud is being made thicker by hybrid cars, political statements from rock stars, Chris Martin and his bint, Glanda Jackson and adults who wear bandanas and are called ‘Frog’ (aka Marmaduke Ponce III). Cunts.

  8. I haven’t even mentioned the Geldof kids yet……..

  9. My wife reckons Pixie could be MORE of a c**t than Peaches. I doubt this is possible.

  10. …..oh and I forgot about –
    11. Brian May -standing on top of Buck House playing a shit solo and having ludicrous hair that hasn’t changed since the seventies. Come to think of it, neither has mine, just less of it.
    12. Richard Branson – no words required.
    13. Will Young. Bum -bashing, insipid-wailing, reality-tv-twat. And why does he go “oooh yeah, ooooh” at the start of EVERY song?
    14. Bono. Fat midget earth-saver. My pal Dom was once in a Dublin pub for breakfast. So was Bono. Wearing those stupid sunglasses at eleven in the morning. Indoors.
    15. The Edge. No hair. Wears a cowboy hat to fool us.
    I’ll get back with more later………

  11. BDC – There’s still another one of them to come….Christ almighty!

    HW – Can’t disagree on Bono. Almost as if he goes out of his way to get on my tits. And succeeds.

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