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This Generation’s Howard Jones

You know what I mean. The act who, in 20 years, people will look back on and say ‘how in the name of all that is sacred did that fucker get successful?’ This is no reflection on Jones, well it is really, he was bloody awful and sort of looked like my Mum’s idea of a new romantic, but more a mediation on certain acts success way outperforming their ability. The sort of act that EVERYONE you know can’t fathom out. The sort of act that can come on at a party and no-one will know why, but doesn’t hate enough to turn off. The sort of musical equivalent of baking powder – it seems to sell a lot but nobody knows quite who is buying it. (I was going to use pornography as the item there, but realised I would only have to look in the mirror to work out that particular demographic.)

So here’s my suggestion; Razorlight. They just aren’t any good are they? Fronted by a gurning little gloryhole with the same level of charisma of a Kraft Cheese slice but none of the versatility, they plod on, pissing off people round the globe with their staunchly Haircut 100 melodies, their shamefully banal platidudinous lyrics and that white baggy top/trousers combo which makes Borrell look like Keren Woodward out of Bananarama circa 82. Serious music fans don’t like them; pop music fans don’t like them. The monthly music press hate them; the NME hate them. Some achievement!

It’s just careerist music that won’t do from a tribe of unadorned knobends. It shouldn’t be successful but it is. These people will end up running the world by 2020. You know it.

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3 Responses

  1. Their fans like the fact that nobody else likes them. It deepens their clique-trench. It’s how the Manics got noticed in the first place, remember? Piss everyone off, get them talkign about you… difference is the Manics made volatile, interesting faux-punk while Razorlight make… hang on… nope. There’s not even an adjective invented for the utter shit they release. I hate them. Hate. REAL ACTUAL HATE

  2. “All my life living in America..”

    If only Borrell….then we wouldn’t have to listen to your pish.

  3. Sirs, I salute your good taste! I loathe them. I loathe him. I hope he meets an unfortunate end involving some rope, some non-flame retardent textiles and a French whore.

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